Do you know someone whose moods swing wildly? Do they act unreasonably suspicious or antagonistic? Do they blame others for their own problems? When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders--borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic--they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they're hard to shake. But there are ways to protect yourself. Using empathy-driven conflict management techniques, Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist with extensive mediation experience, will teach you to: - Spot warning signs of the five high-conflict personalities in others and in yourself.
- Manage relationships with HCPs at work and in your private life.
- Safely avoid or end dangerous and stressful interactions with HCPs. Filled with expert advice and real-life anecdotes, 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life is an essential guide to helping you escape negative relationships, build healthy connections, and safeguard your reputation and personal life in the process. And if you have a high-conflict personality, this book will help you help yourself.
What does the nervous system of the lowly lobster have to tell us about standing up straight (with our shoulders back) and about success in life? Why did ancient Egyptians worship the capacity to pay careful attention as the highest of gods? What dreadful paths do people tread when they become resentful, arrogant and vengeful? Dr. Peterson journeys broadly, discussing discipline, freedom, adventure and responsibility, distilling the world's wisdom into 12 practical and profound rules for life. 12 Rules for Life shatters the modern commonplaces of science, faith and human nature, while transforming and ennobling the mind and spirit of its readers.
#1 Wall Street Journal Business Bestseller
Instant Washington Post Bestseller "Brims with a surprising amount of insight and practical advice." --The Wall Street Journal Daniel H. Pink, the #1 bestselling author of Drive and To Sell Is Human, unlocks the scientific secrets to good timing to help you flourish at work, at school, and at home. Everyone knows that timing is everything. But we don't know much about timing itself. Our lives are a never-ending stream of "when" decisions: when to start a business, schedule a class, get serious about a person. Yet we make those decisions based on intuition and guesswork. Timing, it's often assumed, is an art. In When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, Pink shows that timing is really a science. Drawing on a rich trove of research from psychology, biology, and economics, Pink reveals how best to live, work, and succeed. How can we use the hidden patterns of the day to build the ideal schedule? Why do certain breaks dramatically improve student test scores? How can we turn a stumbling beginning into a fresh start? Why should we avoid going to the hospital in the afternoon? Why is singing in time with other people as good for you as exercise? And what is the ideal time to quit a job, switch careers, or get married? In When, Pink distills cutting-edge research and data on timing and synthesizes them into a fascinating, readable narrative packed with irresistible stories and practical takeaways that give readers compelling insights into how we can live richer, more engaged lives.
Never Get Angry Again is New York Times and internationally bestselling author David J. Lieberman's comprehensive, holistic look at the underlying emotional, physical, and spiritual causes of anger, and a practical guide to what the reader can do to gain perspective.
David J. Lieberman understands that a change in perspective is all that is needed to help keep from flying off the handle. In Never Get Angry Again, he reveals how to see anger through a comprehensive, holistic lens, illuminates the underlying emotional, spiritual, and physical components of anger, and gives the readers simple, practical tools to snuff out anger before it even occurs.
Take a deep breath and count to ten. Meditate. Visualize your happy place.
You've probably heard all of these anger management techniques and more from friends, family, and experts, but somehow they miss the mark when it comes to coping with the complex emotion of anger.
Let's face it: if anger-management techniques were effective, you wouldn't be reading this book. These clumsy attempts to maintain calmness are usually futile and sometimes emotionally draining. The fact is, either something bothers us (causing anxiety, frustration, or anger), or it doesn't. A state of calm is better accomplished by not becoming agitated in the first place. When we fight the urge to blow up or melt down, we fight against our own nature.
Being yourself should be easy, yet too many of us struggle to live on other people's terms instead of our own. Rather than feeling large and in charge, we feel little and belittled.
Sound familiar? Bestselling "anti-guru" Sarah Knight has three simple words for you:
YOU DO YOU.
It's time to start putting your happiness first--and stop letting other people tell you what to do, how to do it, or why it can't be done. And don't panic You can do it without losing friends and alienating people. Knight delivers her trademark no-bullsh*t advice about:
- The Tyranny of "Just Because"
- The social contract and how to amend it
- Turning "flaws" into strengths--aka "mental redecorating"
- Why it's not your job to be nice
- Letting your freak flag fly
- How to take risks, silence the doubters, and prove the haters wrong
"National Bestseller--New York Times, USA Today, Publisher's Weekly, Wall Street Journal"The funny and talented Chip Gaines is well known to millions of people as a TV star, renovation expert, bestselling author, husband to Joanna, and father of four in Waco, Texas. But long before the world took notice, Chip was a serial entrepreneur who was always ready for the next challenge, even if it didn't quite work out as planned. Whether it was buying a neighborhood laundromat or talking a bank into a loan for some equipment to start a lawn-mowing service, Chip always knew that the most important thing was to take that first step.Now a #1 New York Times bestselling book, Capital Gaines offers readers a ringside seat as Chip relives some of his craziest antics and the lessons learned along the way. His mentors taught him to never give up and his family showed him what it meant to always have a positive attitude despite your circumstances. Throw in a natural daredevil personality and a willingness to do (or eat ) just about anything, and you have the life and daily activity of Chip Gaines.Capital Gaines is the perfect book for anyone looking to succeed not only in business but more importantly in life.
HELLO SUNSHINE BOOK CLUB PICK
"True belonging doesn't require us to change who we are. It requires us to be who we are." Social scientist Bren' Brown, PhD, LMSW, has sparked a global conversation about the experiences that bring meaning to our lives--experiences of courage, vulnerability, love, belonging, shame, and empathy. In Braving the Wilderness, Brown redefines what it means to truly belong in an age of increased polarization. With her trademark mix of research, storytelling, and honesty, Brown will again change the cultural conversation while mapping a clear path to true belonging. Brown argues that we're experiencing a spiritual crisis of disconnection, and introduces four practices of true belonging that challenge everything we believe about ourselves and each other. She writes, "True belonging requires us to believe in and belong to ourselves so fully that we can find sacredness both in being a part of something and in standing alone when necessary. But in a culture that's rife with perfectionism and pleasing, and with the erosion of civility, it's easy to stay quiet, hide in our ideological bunkers, or fit in rather than show up as our true selves and brave the wilderness of uncertainty and criticism. But true belonging is not something we negotiate or accomplish with others; it's a daily practice that demands integrity and authenticity. It's a personal commitment that we carry in our hearts." Brown offers us the clarity and courage we need to find our way back to ourselves and to each other. And that path cuts right through the wilderness. Brown writes, "The wilderness is an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching. It is a place as dangerous as it is breathtaking, a place as sought after as it is feared. But it turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it's the bravest and most sacred place you will ever stand."
How to Think is a contrarian treatise on why we're not as good at thinking as we assume--but how recovering this lost art can rescue our inner lives from the chaos of modern life.
As a celebrated cultural critic and a writer for national publications like The Atlantic and Harper's, Alan Jacobs has spent his adult life belonging to communities that often clash in America's culture wars. And in his years of confronting the big issues that divide us--political, social, religious--Jacobs has learned that many of our fiercest disputes occur not because we're doomed to be divided, but because the people involved simply aren't thinking. Most of us don't want to think. Thinking is trouble. Thinking can force us out of familiar, comforting habits, and it can complicate our relationships with like-minded friends. Finally, thinking is slow, and that's a problem when our habits of consuming information (mostly online) leave us lost in the spin cycle of social media, partisan bickering, and confirmation bias. In this smart, endlessly entertaining book, Jacobs diagnoses the many forces that act on us to prevent thinking--forces that have only worsened in the age of Twitter, "alternative facts," and information overload--and he also dispels the many myths we hold about what it means to think well. (For example: It's impossible to "think for yourself.") Drawing on sources as far-flung as novelist Marilynne Robinson, basketball legend Wilt Chamberlain, British philosopher John Stuart Mill, and Christian theologian C.S. Lewis, Jacobs digs into the nuts and bolts of the cognitive process, offering hope that each of us can reclaim our mental lives from the impediments that plague us all. Because if we can learn to think together, maybe we can learn to live together, too.
"Bored and Brilliant shows the fascinating side of boredom. Manoush Zomorodi investigates cutting-edge research as well as compelling (and often funny) real-life examples to demonstrate that boredom is actually a crucial tool for making our lives happier, more productive, and more creative. What's more, the book is crammed with practical exercises for anyone who wants to reclaim the power of spacing out - deleting the Two Dots app, for instance, or having a photo-free day, or taking a 'fakecation'."
--Gretchen Rubin, author of #1 NYT Bestseller The Happiness Project
"Bored and Brilliant is full of easy steps to make each day more effective and every life more intentional. Manoush's mix of personal stories, neuroscience, and data will convince you that boredom is actually a gift."
--Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit and Smarter, Faster, Better
It's time to move "doing nothing" to the top of your to-do list.
In 2015 Manoush Zomorodi, host of WNYC's popular podcast and radio show Note to Self, led tens of thousands of listeners through an experiment to help them unplug from their devices, get bored, jump-start their creativity, and change their lives. Bored and Brilliant builds on that experiment to show us how to rethink our gadget use to live better and smarter in this new digital ecosystem. Manoush explains the connection between boredom and original thinking, exploring how we can harness boredom's hidden benefits to become our most productive and creative selves without totally abandoning our gadgets in the process. Grounding the book in the neuroscience and cognitive psychology of "mind wandering" what our brains do when we're doing nothing at all--Manoush includes practical steps you can take to ease the nonstop busyness and enhance your ability to dream, wonder, and gain clarity in your work and life. The outcome is mind-blowing. Unplug and read on.
"Introverts will love this practical and moving guide to building a career, network, and life you love." - Susan Cain, author of Quiet
From the marketing guru and host of the popular podcast Hiding in the Bathroom, a breakthrough introverts' guide that broadens the conversation sparked by Quiet and moves away from the "Lean In" approach, offering wisdom and practical tips to help readers build strong relationships and achieve their own definition of professional success.
Most ambitious people believe that reaching the peaks of success means being on 24/7--tirelessly networking, deal-making, and keynoting conferences. This is nonsense, says Morra Aarons-Mele. As an eminent entrepreneur with a flourishing business and a self-proclaimed introvert with lots of anxieties, Morra disagrees with the notion that there's only one successful "type": the intense, super social, sleep-deprived mover and shaker, the person who musters endless amounts of "grit." Hiding in the Bathroom is her antidote for everyone who is fed up with feeling like they must always "lean in"--who prefer those moments of hiding in the bathroom to constantly climbing the ladder or working the room.
Morra knows what it takes to make your mark, and now, this entrepreneur who has boosted the online strategy of clients such as the Malala Fund, President Obama, the UN Foundation, and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation shares the insights, tricks, and knowledge she's learned. Filled with advice, exercises to help readers evaluate their own work/life fit and manage anxiety, valuable tools, and stories of countless successful people--entrepreneurs, academics, and novices just beginning their careers--Hiding in the Bathroom empowers professionals of all ages and levels to take control and build their own versions of success. Thoughtful and practical, it is a must-have handbook for building a fantastic, prosperous career and a balanced, happy life--on your own terms.
More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change.
The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you've ever thought...
- People can rely on me, but I can't rely on myself.
- How can I help someone to follow good advice?
- People say I ask too many questions.
- How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask--or who keeps telling me what to do?
With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It's far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.
"WE NEED TO TALK."
In this urgent and insightful book, public radio journalist Celeste Headlee shows us how to bridge what divides us--by having real conversations
BASED ON THE TED TALK WITH OVER 10 MILLION VIEWS
NPR's Best Books of 2017
"We Need to Talk is an important read for a conversationally-challenged, disconnected age. Headlee is a talented, honest storyteller, and her advice has helped me become a better spouse, friend, and mother." (Jessica Lahey, author of New York Times bestseller The Gift of Failure)
Today most of us communicate from behind electronic screens, and studies show that Americans feel less connected and more divided than ever before. The blame for some of this disconnect can be attributed to our political landscape, but the erosion of our conversational skills as a society lies with us as individuals.
And the only way forward, says Headlee, is to start talking to each other. In We Need to Talk, she outlines the strategies that have made her a better conversationalist--and offers simple tools that can improve anyone's communication. For example:
- BE THERE OR GO ELSEWHERE. Human beings are incapable of multitasking, and this is especially true of tasks that involve language. Think you can type up a few emails while on a business call, or hold a conversation with your child while texting your spouse? Think again.
- CHECK YOUR BIAS. The belief that your intelligence protects you from erroneous assumptions can end up making you more vulnerable to them. We all have blind spots that affect the way we view others. Check your bias before you judge someone else.
- HIDE YOUR PHONE. Don't just put down your phone, put it away. New research suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone can negatively impact the quality of a conversation.
Whether you're struggling to communicate with your kid's teacher at school, an employee at work, or the people you love the most--Headlee offers smart strategies that can help us all have conversations that matter.
- Is it normal to have concerns about your memory?
- What are the markers of mild cognitive impairment, dementia, Alzheimer's, and other neurodegenerative diseases?
- How should you convey your memory concerns to your doctor?
- What can your doctor do to evaluate your memory?
- Which healthcare professional(s) should you see?
- What medicines, alternative therapies, diets, and exercises are available to improve your memory?
- Can crossword puzzles, computer brain-training games, memory aids, and strategies help strengthen your memory?
- What other resources are available when dealing with memory loss? Seven Steps to Managing Your Memory is written in an easy-to-read yet comprehensive style, featuring clinical vignettes and character-based stories that provide real-life examples of how to successfully manage age-related memory loss.
"Invaluable."--Deborah Tannen, #1 New York Times bestselling author of You're the Only One I Can Tell and You Just Don't Understand Alan Alda has been on a decades-long journey to discover new ways to help people communicate and relate to one another more effectively. If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face? is the warm, witty, and informative chronicle of how Alda found inspiration in everything from cutting-edge science to classic acting methods. His search began when he was host of PBS's Scientific American Frontiers, where he interviewed thousands of scientists and developed a knack for helping them communicate complex ideas in ways a wide audience could understand--and Alda wondered if those techniques held a clue to better communication for the rest of us. In his wry and wise voice, Alda reflects on moments of miscommunication in his own life, when an absence of understanding resulted in problems both big and small. He guides us through his discoveries, showing how communication can be improved through learning to relate to the other person: listening with our eyes, looking for clues in another's face, using the power of a compelling story, avoiding jargon, and reading another person so well that you become "in sync" with them, and know what they are thinking and feeling--especially when you're talking about the hard stuff. Drawing on improvisation training, theater, and storytelling techniques from a life of acting, and with insights from recent scientific studies, Alda describes ways we can build empathy, nurture our innate mind-reading abilities, and improve the way we relate and talk with others. Exploring empathy-boosting games and exercises, If I Understood You is a funny, thought-provoking guide that can be used by all of us, in every aspect of our lives--with our friends, lovers, and families, with our doctors, in business settings, and beyond. "Alda uses his trademark humor and a well-honed ability to get to the point, to help us all learn how to leverage the better communicator inside each of us."--Forbes "Alda, with his laudable curiosity, has learned something you and I can use right now."--Charlie Rose
Born with a rare genetic condition, Lizzie Velasquez always knew she was different, but it wasn't until she was older that she understood what that meant to herself and others. In this daring, inspirational book, Lizzie reveals the hidden forces that give rise to self-doubt and empowers us to unlock empathy and kindness for ourselves and others. Through her own battles with anxiety and depression she demonstrates how we can overcome obstacles and move forward with greater positivity and hope. Dare to Be Kind offers the path to self-acceptance, love, and tolerance, and provides a framework for living with confidence and resilience, and ultimately, forging a radically compassionate world.
Since the publication of The Prince five centuries ago, Machiavelli has been associated with political amorality. But that characterization is unfair. In Be Like the Fox, Erica Benner sets the record straight: far from the ruthless "Machiavellian" henchman that people think he was, Machiavelli emerges here as a profound ethical thinker who fought to uphold high moral standards and restore the democratic freedoms of his beloved Florence.
Shaking the dust from history, Benner masterfully interweaves Machiavelli's words with those of his friends and enemies, giving us a biography with all the energy of fiction. Through dialogues and diaries, we witness dramatic episodes, including Savonarola's fiery sermons against the elite in Florence's piazza, Machiavelli's secret negotiations with Caterina Sforza at the court of Forli, and the Florentines' frantic preparations to resist Pope Julius's plan to over-throw their Republic.
Benner relates how Machiavelli rose as an advisor in the Florentine Republic, advancing the city's interests as a diplomat and military strategist, only to become a political pariah when the Republic was defeated. His egalitarian politics made him an enemy of the Medici family, and his secular outlook put him at odds with religious zealots. But he soon learned to mask his true convictions, becoming a great artist of foxlike dissimulation. Machiavelli's masterpiece, The Prince, was in fact a critique of princely power, but the critique had to be veiled, written as it was after the Medici triumphed over the Republic.
In Be Like the Fox, the most accurate and compelling portrait of Machiavelli yet, Benner recounts the gripping story of a brilliant political thinker, showing that Machiavelli's ideas--about democratic institutions, diplomacy, and freedom--are more important than ever.
New York Times Bestseller
"What, What? is a welcome--and joyful--reminder that true wisdom comes from asking the right questions. Should you read this book? Absolutely."
--Clayton Christensen, bestselling author of How Will You Measure Your Life?
Based on the wildly popular commencement address, the art of asking (and answering) good questions by the Dean of Harvard University's Graduate School of Education.
Whether we're in the boardroom or the classroom, we spend far too much time and energy looking for the right answer. But the truth is that questions are just as important as answers, often more so. If you ask the wrong question, for instance, you're guaranteed to get the wrong answer. A good question, on the other hand, inspires a good answer and, in the process, invites deeper understanding and more meaningful connections between people. Asking a good question requires us to move beyond what we think we know about an issue or a person to explore the difficult and the unknown, the awkward, and even the unpleasant.
In Wait, What?, Jim Ryan, dean of Harvard University's Graduate School of Education, celebrates the art of asking--and answering--good questions. Five questions in particular: Wait, what?; I wonder...? Couldn't we at least...?; How can I help?; and What truly matters? Using examples from politics, history, popular culture, and social movements, as well as his own personal life, Ryan demonstrates how these essential inquiries generate understanding, spark curiosity, initiate progress, fortify relationships, and draw our attention to the important things in life--from the Supreme Court to Fenway Park. By regularly asking these five essential questions, Ryan promises, we will be better able to answer life's most important question: "And did you get what you wanted out of life, even so?" At once hilarious and illuminating, poignant and surprising, Wait, What? is an inspiring book of wisdom that will forever change the way you think about questions.
In the vein of Quiet and The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth comes this illuminating look at what it means to be awkward--and how the same traits that make us socially anxious and cause embarrassing faux pas also provide the seeds for extraordinary success.
As humans, we all need to belong. While modern social life can make even the best of us feel gawky, for roughly one in five of us, navigating its challenges is consistently overwhelming--an ongoing maze without an exit. Often unable to grasp social cues or master the skills and grace necessary for smooth interaction, we feel out of sync with those around us. Though individuals may recognize their awkward disposition, they rarely understand why they are like this--which makes it hard for them to know how to adjust their behavior.
Psychologist and interpersonal relationship expert Ty Tashiro knows what it's like to be awkward. Growing up, he could do math in his head and memorize the earned run averages of every National League starting pitcher. But he couldn't pour liquids without spilling and habitually forgot to bring his glove to Little League games. In Awkward, he unpacks decades of research into human intelligence, neuroscience, personality, and sociology to help us better understand this widely shared trait. He explores its nature vs. nurture origins, considers how the awkward view the world, and delivers a welcome counterintuitive message: the same characteristics that make people socially clumsy can be harnessed to produce remarkable achievements.
Interweaving the latest research with personal tales and real world examples, Awkward offers reassurance and provides valuable insights into how we can embrace our personal quirks and unique talents to harness our awesome potential--and more comfortably navigate our complex world.